Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Eager Mom

Isabella started Kindergarten last week and it has taken me this long to put it on paper.  I took the entire day off of work.  I thought this was quite practical and the norm until Bobby asked me why I took the whole day off?  Hmm...why did I take the whole day off?  I guess I could have done the drop off and then go into the office.  But didn't he know that I needed to be there to pick her up too?  And what would I have done in the office but stare at the clock until I could pick her up again?

Ice Cream Social night to meet the teacher

I knew this process would be difficult--letting go another piece of her and sharing her with the rest of the world entrusting they would take care of her and give her right back to me at the end of the day. I knew it would be hard for me and I do realize I'm being overdramatic and I often would roll my eyes reading other account's of first time kinder moms.  But what I didn't know was how much it would really affect me.

The week prior to the big first day of Kindergarten was spent in preparation.  Buying the right kind of shoes, clothes, water bottle and of course school supplies.  I was hitting pinterest hard looking for different lunch box ideas, photoshoot scenes and the like.  I was setting up carpools and after school care and texting my poor sister in law (who has a child in the same school) too many times throughout a given day.  I was a bit eager.  Eager  I was preparing, I told myself.  It wasn't until I snapped at a co-worker that I realized I wasn't just preparing, I was nesting. 

The look on my co-worker's face brought me out of what I like to call my "first time mom mode" delirium.  You know what I'm talking about.  We first time moms have to have everything perfect before the baby comes and I mean EVERYTHING!  And of course no one else understands how we feel and we know they are just laughing at us because we spend hours on the most mundane issues.  Like, what kind of blanket is the BEST kind of blanket to take to the hospital for the baby?  The cute pink one with the polka dots or the cute pink one with the polka dots that are white instead of a darker shade of pink?  Stupid, I know (the answer to that question is don't take anything cute, it's going to be either bloody, spit up on or pooped/peed on. Save the cute stuff for when you get home).

This one loves all living things non-human
Anyway, I was embarrassed for snapping at my poor coworker.  It wasn't her fault my mind was elsewhere and her ridiculous, petty question meant nothing to me.  That's when I accepted that I was a certified batshit crazy mom.  Yep, I'm one of those.  I was nesting for another first.  Not my first baby but my first baby's first day of school.  All her laundry was done (thank you, Bobby! You're the best), the house was somewhat clean, her closet was cleaned out and even our eating habits had changed.  Fruits and vegetables plus lean protein is what will keep her healthy and ready to learn.  I had changed everything!  Extreme? Maybe.  But you know what?  That girl had everything she needed on August 11th @8:45am sharp (!) to start her first day of school. 

She was beaming the moment she woke up.  The first thing out of her mouth was, "Mom you know where I got this smile from? From my first day of school because today is my first day of Kindergarten!"  She's the best.  I love her and she did great.  We were out of the house just in time to make it to the first bell.  She said goodbye to her big cousin Josiah and Bobby and I walked her to her classroom.  She sat right down and started coloring the page her teacher had prepared for these itty bitty students.  She smiled for our pictures and when it was time for us to go, she confidently said, "Bye mom.  Bye dad." She smiled the whole time.  I was proud of her but still a little sad that she wasn't going to miss me at all.  But then she signaled me that she was going to miss us.  As we were walking out the door, she snapped up from her seat out of her daze of confidence and independence and searched the room for us.  We locked eyes and she said loudly, "Bye mama, bye dad.  I love you!"  She's the best.


Happy first day of school, baby girl! and happy first to all the moms and dads who had to take their babies to a stranger for seven hours a day entrusting them to keep your baby safe and happy.  It's hard.  And for those who haven't gone through this yet and are surely rolling your eyes at me, good luck not going batshit crazy when it's your time.